Still Aches

My heart still aches, though logically speaking, I shouldn't be feeling this way. It's taking a bit too long to dwell in this place and I think only by a change in perspective that I can get out of this rut.

So how should I be thinking?

Tell me, Father. You are the only one who knows how deep I've been hurt. So deep yet it feels so ridiculous to confess the hurt this person has caused me. What's done cannot be undone, and it is probably the truth that it is stupid to feel like that for so long. So, Father, please teach me how to rule over my own emotion. I know You are right here beside me because You will never leave nor forsake a broken heart. Abba, will You patch back my heart again? Or better still, give me a new one for this one is corrupted.

I never knew that loving someone like a sibling can be so difficult. Would I feel the same if I had a younger sibling? Or perhaps knowing my limits, it was in Your wisdom that I am the youngest in the family. I don't know.

But I will never stop loving. How can I, when You are still loving me? You are enough for me. And while You continue to love me and through me, grant me Your grace to handle the hurts as a result of my vulnerability. Help me to be strong so that I will not turn this love into hate or become a cynic or skeptic.

Hatred is never Your way and so it shouldn't flow from me as well.